Everything you need to LARP as an AI founder

The foldable everyone is arguing about. Unfolds into a status symbol.

“I need the big screen for on-the-go agent monitoring.”

Four minis, one switch, a photo you will absolutely post.

“I'm running my own datacenter now.”

Enough unified memory to hold a 70B model and your ambitions.

“Local inference means my margins are basically infinite.”

A petaflop on the desk. Ships with a fan and a personality.

“Fine-tuning my own model is the moat.”

The entry drug. Sits under the monitor, runs the agent overnight.

“This is basically a home server for my Hermes swarm.”

Notifications on your face, neural band on your wrist.

“Hands-free means I'm always shipping.”

Loud, hot, glorious. Heats the room in winter.

“Why rent compute when I can own compute?”

The developer's tier. Burns through rate limits you'll still hit.

“This replaces two contractors, easily.”

Effectively unlimited everything, including your excuses.

“It pays for itself the second I close one client.”

The most expensive standard tier in the game. That's the point.

“Benchmarks matter and I refuse to be behind.”

Top Gemini tier plus the video studio you'll open twice.

“I'm going to make the trailer for my product myself.”

Research tab number forty-one.

“Market research is the real work.”

Twenty agents running in parallel, one of them doing something useful.

“I'm not coding, I'm orchestrating.”

The terminal agent that actually finishes the refactor.

“My commit graph has never looked better.”

Schedules your agents, retries them, emails you the wreckage.

“Once this is dialled in it runs the business.”

A phone agent that answers in 400ms and apologises beautifully.

“Every local business needs this. I'll sell ten.”

Clicks things for you at 3am. Sometimes the right things.

“This is my outbound team.”

A roadmap for a product with zero users.

“Process now means scale later.”

The single highest-conviction purchase of the whole build.

“Branding is the product.”

Billed by the second, forgotten by the hour.

“Just fine-tuning one more checkpoint.”

Queues, workers, a vector store, and 4% CPU usage.

“Headroom for the launch traffic.”

Where the agent lives between reboots.

“Twelve dollars for a whole server. Unreal leverage.”

The boring part that keeps the whole LARP standing.

“Production-grade from day one.”

How you find out the agent looped 412 times last night.

“You can't improve what you don't measure.”

One key, every frontier and open model, priced by the token.

“I'll route cheap models for 90% of calls. (You won't.)”

Top-up for people who discovered agent loops the hard way.

“Bulk credits are basically a discount.”

For the launch video, the logo, and 300 rejected logos.

“I'm my own creative department.”

Pennies per million. The grown-up choice you'll skip.

“Open weights mean no vendor lock-in.”

One million chunks of documents nobody has read.

“RAG over my notes will change how I think.”

For the show you'll launch right after the product.

“Building in public is distribution.”

Two terminals, one dashboard, zero customers.

“Screen real estate is throughput.”

The build ritual. Grinds beans, kills two hours.

“Cheaper than the coffee shop over five years.”

You will sit in it for nineteen hours a day. Worth it.

“My back is a business asset.”

Somewhere to be seen typing fast.

“Serendipitous collisions lead to deals.”

Raised once during onboarding, never again.

“Energy levels are a productivity multiplier.”